Without you
by MamaG
Summary: Tempe is having trouble with a Booth
1. Chapter 1

It had been 3 months since I had the meeting with Carol, Jack, Sarah and James and as yet I had done nothing. For 9 months now Parker has been living with me, we've had our ups and downs but he is a great kid and it's been hard for him to lose both his parents within a space of a couple of days. Booth had left Parker on my doorstep with a note, one which I read everyday – it tells me that he will be back but isn't sure when and that I'm to take care of Parker until he comes back. What ever he is doing I know that it is nothing to do with Military or FBI, that's the good thing about my contacts, they can go pretty high. Now it turns out that both Parker's grandparents feel that Booth isn't coming back and want me to adopt Parker, I told them that as long as Booth is still alive I wouldn't. I keep playing it in my mind, was my decision right? I'm not sure, today threw me a curve ball. Today, Parker asked if he could call me Mom, seeing as that is what I am I told him to ask his Grandparents as I felt wrong to decide without them and of course they said it was fine, when he spoke to Carol and Jack I heard him say "It's not that I don't miss my real Mom but Tempe looks after me now and I will never forget my real Mom, Tempe takes me to her grave every Sunday after church." Yes, I go to church. I don't even believe in God or Jesus but it helps Parker and that's good enough for me.

"Hey sweetie, how are you?" Angela stands in the doorway, her right shoulder against the frame. She walks into my office "Did Parker have some more nightmares?" I nod, my body aches I haven't slept for 4 days and it takes all my energy to get ready for work. "I don't know what to do Ange, I can't sleep, everytime I close my eyes I can hear him scream, even when he is sound asleep. What can I do?" I feel my cheeks dampen before I can register I'm crying, I feel Ange's arms engulf me, as they have done many times in the last 9 months, the last time though was when Parker told me he hated me. I controlled my sobs "Thanks Ange, I needed that" I wasn't lying, just the feeling that I wasn't on my own was enough. "Anytime sweetie, I came to tell you they delivered another body. The same as the others" It doesn't help that at this time I'm working on possibly the hardest case ever without Booth. I take a deep breath "OK I'll be there in a minute" Ange turns and leaves me to gather myself, all the while I'm telling myself it's not Booth on my table.

"Dr Brennan" Damn, it's Sweets "You missed our appointment, for maybe the sixth time. Now I'm no strange to being stood up but six times, that's just rude and unprofessional!" I can hear he is angry and can I blame him? Probably not. "Look, I'm just really busy right now Sweets, I can't have this conversation with you everytime." I look at him, not really sure what my face is saying to betray me but there is obvously something "If you kept your appointments we would have this conversation, as you call it. I'm worried you are not coping" something inside me snaps I could hear it boil up from someplace I don't know "COPING? With what am I not coping? I have a boy at home who lost both his parents, I stay awake every night because when I close my eyes I can hear him scream. I haven't slept for 4 days, 4 days Sweets that's like this many hours" I spread my arms as wide as the could go as my brain seemed to disolve "I HATE my job, I hate the fact that I could walk in here any day and have Booth staring back at me from that table, Hell that could be him now. I HATE the fact I'm gonna be the one to tell Parker that his Dad is dead." I spat the words from my mouth, I can't stop myself "So, right now I'm coping the only way I know how to, I go home and tell that little boy that his Dad will be home soon and I tuck him n and kiss him goodnight because what else can I do?" Sweets looks at me with a touch of fear, maybe that I'm about to explode and judging by everyone else looking at us, they think so too. "I have to perform this exam, so unless there is anything else I can do for you?" Cam nods at him and Sweets makes his exit "Right, lets get on with it shall we?" I ask calmly as everyone begins to busy themselves again.

I feel a light shake "Sweetie, wake up" I open my eyes barely "Ange, how long have I been out?" she shrugs "a couple of hours maybe. I wanted to leave you as long as possible, I sent Jack to get Parker. I hope that's OK? I think you should go home when Parker gets here, don't you?" I nod, in truth I don't have the strength to argue my case for staying. I sit for a few minutes and then push myself up from my chair just as I stand my little boy runs and flings his arms around me "Mom, I had the best day ever. I won a race in gym and got an A on my homework" I smiled and took the paper he was waving at me "Well done Parker, that's brilliant. How about we go celebrate?" he cocked his head and gave me a look I had not seen before "it's only 3:15, we never leave the lab before 4 at the earliest." He looked troubled "Has something happened? Is it my Dad?" I shook my head "I think we both need to go and enjoy ourselves, so what do you reckon? McDonalds and the cinema?" he grinned and hugged me again "that sounds great Mom."

About an hour later, after being stuck in traffic we sat in Mcdonalds, Parker had a burger that was as big as him. It was times like this that he reminded me so much of his Dad, he got into as much mess when he eats and of course he was blessed wth that famous Booth charm smile which he flashes at me between bites. I hear him mutter something that pulls me out of my thoughts "Sorry Parker I was miles away. What did you say?" he flashed me another smile "I said 'when are you going to adopt me?'" I knew my face was showing my complete shock, I had no idea he even knew about that "Sorry, I shouldn't have said anything" he hung his head and took a half hearted bite of his burger "I.. I.." come on Tempe form words, actual words. Deep breath, followed by another "I didn't know that you knew about that Parker, who told you?" lifting his head slightly "I over heard you and Ange talking, Tempe don't think my Dad is ever coming back" he had wanted to say those words for a while, he had no tears. "He has been gone 9 months Tempe without a word and he isn't ever coming back. I think we should just accept it." Those however were not his words "Who have you been talking to? You want me to adopt you?" he shifted slightly "The boys at school say I should just face facts that my Dad left because he didn't want to take care of me. Yes, I do want you to adopt me. I want to have a family again Tempe and well you are the closest thing I have" I smiled and hugged him, quickly pulling away when people started looking at me "Not cool?" I asked, he looked at me "definitely not cool, but who cares about being cool" he hugged me back.

I laid awake all night, Parker was keeping me awake again. This time there were no nightmares just his words 'He isn't ever coming back. I think we should just accept it' I should have told him that he was, like I always do but something stopped me, it was like I couldn't promise him anymore because I can't be sure anymore. When Parker first come to stay it was only for 'a couple of days' and then of course days turn to weeks and weeks have slowly turned to months, the thing that I hate is Parker is now living with the same uncertainty that I had growing up not knowing if your parents were ever coming back. Maybe I should take him to see Sweets, maybe I should talk to him? This is just great, my alarm signals the morning and it's Sunday so that means graveyard then church, both of which pain me more than ever especially when Parker now also speaks to my Mom's grave too.

I hurry to the bathroom and get ready so that I'm fully awake when Parker is up, the first time we did this Sunday morning routine we had both woke like cave men growling and grunting and spent what could only be describe as the day from hell with each other, that was the day I realised that looking after Parker wasn't going to be a walk in the park.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I would really like to own Bones, but unfortunatly don't have the money to buy it – donations would be great :P

How did I end up here? "Billy Ray, get your ass here now!" she is screaming at me, I just keep telling myself it's not long. It's already been 9 months and that's much longer than they said it would take. I left my son standing on a doorstep with a note, what an idiot! I want to go home, this is doing my head in. "There you are, what the hell took you so long?" her thick southern accent is grating me to the core, I just want to be with my son. "You know, stuff" I reply in an equally grating accent "Well next time you got stuff to do, do it on your own time! I got a job for you and it's important. See this man? He is Lance Carter and you are going to kill him" Finally, never would a grown man be more happy to hear those words. This is what I have been work for the last 9 months, this ring of contract killers have been working around these parts for some years and everytime the FBI try and get near them the agent in question normally ends up dead before they have anything solid on them. So I got this detail because no one else wanted it, I steal another look at the man's face in the picture. A family man with a good job, he is clean shaven and smartly dressed "what he do?" I say without thinking "Billy Ray" she smacks me upside the head "I told ya not to ask so many questions. I like ya, that's why you've been promoted so to speak. Now just go do it so you can go home and I don't have to look at ya!" Home, just that word brings so much hope. I snatch the picture a little too quickly and grab the gun laid out for me and leave.

I glance in the rear view mirror, I have a full beard now so that no one will be able to reckonise me either from this life or my other life in DC. I pull a picture of Parker out of my glove compartment and sigh, he looked so happy. I hope he's alright and that Bones is coping with him, I left him just after he's Mother died, what kind of father am I? "Agent Booth" I walk into my house to find Agent Philip Golding sitting on my couch "Agent Golding, what can I do you for?" he stands and walks over to me "Actually, it's more what I can do for you." He hands me a plane ticket "Washington, one way Agent Booth. Go home be with your son" never in my life have I ever wanted to kiss a man, until now "You mean it?" he nodded "Don't shave that off til you get back home though. Although we have made every effort in keeping your ID away from these people we can never be too careful, you're free to go. Goodbye, it's been a pleasure"

I ran upstairs and threw my stuff in a bag, not that I had much and drove to the airport. I looked every 5 seconds to make sure I was not being followed. The lady at the check in desk looked at me and my passport and looked again, I flashed her my famous smile "I've had a rough week, just trying to get home to my family" I manage to convince her that I am indeed Seeley Booth, as I sit at the terminal gate a familiar song comes on the radio

_I woke up early to baby blue eyes from the (fire) whoah whoah_

_and when the sun comes through and lights you like the angel you are whoah whoah_

_I know I do you wrong when I'm with you I've been gone_

I must have listened to this song for 6 months solid, I love it even more now. I slide down in my seat and take a couple of deep breaths and close my eyes.

_With every season change, it looks the same (november to june) whoah whoah_

_And dont these empty streets skip a beat the flowers dont bloom whoah whoah_

_I can't believe I missed your birthday again_

_and I wanna come back but I just don't know when now_

_And I'm so lonely your not here with me_

_That's why I'm gonna be on the next plane home_

It's Parker's Birthday tomorrow, I can't wait to see my little boy, he'll be 7 and he'd of grown a bit. And Bones, would she be any different? God I hope not, I spent many of night just thinking about her and how she would be handling Parker. I know what I did was wrong and I can only hope that they'd forgive me, but I knew that I have left him with the best possible person. I miss her smile, I miss his laugh, I miss them so much, only two hours on the plane. I think I'm gonna explode before that.

_The road that never ends around the bend I see your smile whoah whoah_

_I'd swim across the sea to be with you for a while whoah whoah_

_cos I'm made a life would be gone_

_now the way that I feel I just don't belong_

_And I'm so lonely you're not here with me_

_thats why I'm gonna be on the next plane home_

_And you're you're the only face I wanna see_

_thats why I'm gonna be on the next plane home_

I find my seat on the plane and wait as the pilot does his usual speech about how you should pay close attention to the safety demo, all I can think about is Home and everything that makes it. I start to think about Angela and how she is always trying to get Bones and I together, I chuckle inwardly. I wonder if she and Hodgins managed to sort out their differences anyone with half a brain can see they are meant to be together. Hodgins? I wonder if he has blown up the lab doing one of those crazy experiments that he loves and Cam hates, last time I spoke to Cam she was thinking about leaving she wasn't happy after Zach and lets face it none of us were. Bones ran to England, Hodgins and Angela split up, Cam slept with Angela's husband and me, well I ran after Bones like I was supposed to.

That was over a year ago and we're still feeling the affects of his choices, I liked Zach he was a decent guy, he still is but I won't go see him. I feel that I let him down and I'm not sure why and in the same breath I hate that he hurt so many people. I must have dosed off because I feel the plane bump down the runway as I glance out at the oh so familiar airport. I can't wait anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

We sat in the middle row of pews, "God giveth and God taketh away. Everything happens for a reason, God has a plan for us all" I wonder what plan he had for me when he took my parents away, whatever he was planning I don't think that it worked out. Parker nudged me, he gave me a look which meant that I would have a lot of questions to answer when we get home. This look first materialised on our first visit to church I was completely unaware when he nudged me and issued the look so imagine my surprise when.

_7 months earlier_

"_Dr Bones, the priest said that no child should be born out of wedlock, what does that mean?" Crap, I thought "Um, well it means that Mommies and Daddies should be married before they have children" he looked satified with the answer and began to walk away "My Mommy and Daddy weren't married when they had me. Does that mean that they sinned?" Oh God, why me? Booth I'm going to kill you for this "Um, sit down Parker and we'll have a little talk about this" he sat so close he may as well been on my lap so I lifted up "You see your Mommy and Daddy were very much in love when you were produced, the problem is sometimes things happen accidently and there are something you change. Like you, Daddy told me that he proposed to your Mommy but by this time they didn't love each other like they used to. Did you know that there are lots of different kinds of love?" He nodded "Well they went from romantic love, to the love that two friends have for each other, you see?" He nodded again "What other kinds of love are there?" I sighed,definitely gonna kill Booth for this one, first I go to church which I don't believe in and now I'm talking about Love to a 7 year old "Well, there is the love between parent and their children, the love between Brothers and sisters, the love between friends and there is the romantic kind of love" he smiled "Like you and Daddy?" I'm gonna shoot you down Seeley Booth, maybe twice for this "Um..not really, your Daddy doesn't love me like that, it's more of the friendship love between us" Parker smiled "I think you're wrong Dr Bones, I think my Daddy loves you the romantic way. He said that he would only ever let someone he truly cared about look after me and out of all his 'friends' he chose you. Now that has to count for something, doesn't it?" I shift uncomfortably "Maybe, maybe all his other friends were out and he had to drop here as the last resort?" he cocked hs head and started laughing, something he had done since he's Mom had died "We came straight here, silly Dr. Bones! What's for lunch? I'm hungry" _

The long drive home was made worse, firstly with the rain and secondly by Parker's silence, for the millionth time in 9 months I threaten Booth's life and am left to ponder what possible questions he was concocting in that head of his, as I pulled into the driveway I knew I wouldn't have to wait long. He unlocked the door and took his coat off, he stood and looked at me for the longest time and sighed before heading into the kitchen "Can I get a glass of milk please?" I walked slowly to the kitchen "I'll get it for you. I'll grab a coffee and then we'll talk OK?" what was the point of delaying it "Thanks Mom, I'd like that." He jumped on the stood at the breakfast bar, I set his milk down in front of him and set my coffee down opposite him "Does God hate me?" I sat and almost fell off my chair, I'd played all the questions he may have concocted and nothing led me to that "Why, why would you ask that?" He shrugged "I can't decide if he hates me or not. I mean he took my Mom away from me and then my Dad too. The priest said that God has a reason for everything but what possible reason could he have to take my family if he didn't hate me?" his top lip quivered slightly "But I have you now and that's good, I thank God for you every Sunday and that's why I can't decide if he hates me. How can he hurt me so much if he loves me so much?" I fire another imaginary shot at Booth, I don't have the answers for him but I must try "I'm not sure that I can answer those kind of questions, I'm not even sure you'll be able to answer them when you're my age either but I thank God for you too. I love having you here and looking after you, I can only tell you that I'm not going anywhere without you OK?" he jumped off his stool and grabbed me round the waist and sobbed, I kneel down and he buries his head in my neck "When does it stop hurting?" How can I tell him it never does? Nothing will ever stop him hurting and that he'll always have regrets "Give it time Parker, it'll get better" my cheeks are wet now, I'm sitting on the floor of my kitchen holding Parker and crying, I'm crying in front of a 7 year old boy. Sweets would have a field day with this, but right now I don't know what else to do and that's the scary thing because as lost as I've felt most of my life none of it compares to this moment when I have no answers. I lift my head and see Ange and Jack standing at the kitchen door, how long I've been here or they've been there I'm not sure but looking at their faces I'd say a while.

Parker is asleep and Jack carries him to his room "Sweetie, what happened?" I make a decision to tell her everything, by the end of my story Ange and I are in tears and Jack looks saddened "Tempe, maybe you should get him to talk to Sweets, I know the guy is annoying beyond belief but I thnk he might help" Jack cocked his head, deciding whether that was the right thing to say. I nod "I'll call him first thing, Parker has a couple of days off school for training days so that fits in brilliantly." Ange sighs "He still doesn't want a party with his friends?" I shake my head "I'm not sure he has many of them left. He keeps getting into fights when they bring up Booth or Rebecca. I'm thinking maybe a barbeque out the yard. Cam, Jack, you and me," Jack coughed "did you manage to get him a present?" I nod "Playstation 3, he just wants his Dad home though" I sigh, so do I "And what about the other thing?" I nod "It's all done, Caroline has just finished and it'll be ready tomorrow so I can give it to him on Tuesday" Parker woke a little after 3, we had dinner and then it was bedtime and neither of us had really spoken "Mom?" he set his book down "Yes?" I replied "I love you" he smiled and hugged me "I love you too"

It was a little after 12 on Monday afternoon, I had taken Parker to see Sweets and although the whole kitchen thing was brought up the session seemed to help him, for that though I had to promise to keep my next appointment. I left the office having no intenton of keeping that promise until Parker asked if Sweets helps me too, I replied that he did and from then on I had to keep my promise. I don't think he'll be able to help me but I could see the difference in Parker already. Back at the lab we were close to ID on the man brought in on the day of my not coping, Ange told me it was not legendary in the lab "OK, sweetie I've managed to work up a quick sketch for you to look at." I was facing my office and she was facing the doors, the noise level dropped "It's Booth" I look at her "This looks nothing like Booth Ange, I did the tissue markers and it definitely isn't Booth. I mean look at the picture!" I hold it up to her face, but she isn't looking which only makes me more frustrated "Ange, look at the picture. Does it look like Booth?" I turn it to see any resemblance "If this is Booth, Both you and I are…" I'm cut off when I feel a hand on my shoulders turning me "Booth?" I just about manage before I feel that thing snap again "You have some nerve!" I punch him square in the jaw, much like when he turned out not to be dead "Ouch Bones." He stops my fist just as I'm about to lay another on him. "Let go of my hand! Do you have any idea what we've been through? You shelfish Bastard." I can see Sweets standing with Cam, then I see Parker at my offce door "Mom, you said a bad word" I nod "I'm extremely angry right now!" I shout, he begins to walk over "you better turn around" I whisper to Booth, a high pitch Parker cry rings out in the lab as he runs to Booth and I take my cue to leave.

_Booth's POV_

I get out of the cab and enter the Jeffersonian, I do my best to compose myself before walking up to those glass doors but I fail miserably. I see Ange hand Bones something as I walk through the door "It's Booth" the level of noise drops as I walk in. To my surprise I see Cam, Jack is now staring me down. I'm practically standing behind Bones as she launches into a rant "This looks nothing like Booth Ange, I did the tissue markers and it definitely isn't Booth. I mean look at the picture!" she holds it up to Angela but she is fully focused on me, I can hear Bones getting more frustrated . "Ange, look at the picture. Does it look like Booth?" she twists it on its sides and even upside down "If this is Booth, Both you and I are…" I couldn't wait any longer to see her face, I grabbed her shoulders and turned her to face me "Booth?" she looked beautiful, her hair was shorter and she hadn't been sleeping or eating but to me she looked better than ever, then her features change I've seen that face before "You have some nerve!" Crack, yes that brings back some memories "Ouch Bones" I grab her fist before she makes contact again "Let go of my hand! Do you have any idea what we've been through? You shelfish Bastard." Think that hurt more than her punch "Mom, you said a bad word" I froze, it was Parker and was he calling Bones Mom? She nods as if to answer my question "I'm extremely angry right now!" I can hear his footsteps, should I turn around "You better turn around" she whispered, I turn to face my son. He had grown more than I had imagined "Daaaaaaddddddddy" he cried as he ran to me, I held my arms out. God this feels good, I stoke his hair and kiss the top of his head. "You came back, I asked God and Mom for you to come home for my birthday and you're here!" he raised his head "Where is Mom?" he turned to Ange "She left sweetie" he sighed "She is angry at you" he said looking at me "You have to go make it right" I turn to Ange "Has she been coping?" Ange looked me square in the eye "You just saw her, did she look like she'd been coping? Or maybe you should talk to Sweets about that, he is an expert on Brennan coping" a small smile danced on her lips and I knew I missed a joke, she grabbed her coat as did Jack, Cam and Sweets "Where are you going?" I ask Sweets "This is great, just great I have to see this. I wanna know how you are gonna possibly make this up to Brennan. I mean you left her with Parker, a boy who just lost his Mother and she's had to go to church, which let me tell you has been dfficult for her and I just have to see this." I huff, as much as I hate to admit it Sweets was right, how was I going to make it up to her? "You stay here" I pointed at Sweets "Sick little man" Parker pulled my hand "I think Sweets should come. I like him." Sweets grinned "Friends in high places Booth." I wanna hit him.

_Bones' POV_

Ange voice echoes through the house, luckily I hadn't hit play on my CD yet "Sweetie, you need to let me in, please" as if I could keep her out, believe me I tried once and she actually scaled the wall, she had bits of hedge in her hair! I hit the buzzer and was not surprised when 3 cars pulled into my drive. I hit play on my CD and walked out to greet them. Joey was sitting on his favourite bit of the porch, Joey is our dog, he is a great dane and the biggest dog I've ever seen. Parker shouts his name as he exits Cam's car. "What are you doing here?" I say as Booth gets out of Sweets car "And why did you bring him?" pointing at Sweets "Mom, I asked Lance to come, I like him" I screwed my face "I suppose it's OK, at least you have a friend your own age!" I ruffle Parker's hair "I sense hostility Dr. Brennan and everyone knows it's not good in situations like this. Lets all go inside and talk about this like adults." I shrugged "I suppose that could work but you can stay with your new friend and Joey." Cam and Angela are giggling that what I can only imagine can be Sweets face. Booth is also smiling "Something funny Agent Booth?" I snap at him, his drops.

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	4. Chapter 4

It was a little after 5 when they left, the 'talk' inside had not gone as I planned. I was hoping to find out why he'd left Parker and me, but as soon as the coffee was made everyone had settled back into our usual routine, a few jokes, lot of laughs and I sat there for nearly an hour before I gave up and made a start on dinner. My absence hadn't gone unnoticed "Dr Brennan, I thought you had to talk to Booth?" Sweets appeared at the kitchen door, Parker had really put him through his paces. Sweets' normally immaculate suit had massive paw prints and bark scrapings all over it "Have you been climbing trees Sweets?" he nodded "You know you can't change the subject that easily. Why aren't you in there wth everyone else?" I wiped my hands on the dishcloth "I have other things to do." I glance around the kitchen to prove my point. "OK, have it your way. I expect to see you Wednesday morning for our appointment though, you promised!" I nodded "Yes, I remember Sweets. Don't worry I'll be there." He left as quickly as he appeared.

So now I'm putting the final touches to dinner, Parker and Booth are sitting at the table. Parker is grinning at his Dad, it's a truly heartwarming scene. "Bones, do you want a hand?" Booth asks, "No" snap rather harshly, hoping to make him realise that just because he is sitting at my dining table doesn't mean all is forgiven. I sigh and walk through to the table "Dinner is ready. Enjoy" Parker looked at me "It's my favourite, Chicken parcels and fries. Woo hoo!" I smile and watch as he grabs a parcel and a few fries "What is in them?" he asks as he pushes the parcel around his plate "It's a surprise, I think there is a few different fillings. Try it and see." He stabs it, cheese and ham pours out on his plate "awesome!" he said excitedly as he rams it in his mouth "Parker be careful, they're hot. After dinner you need to call your Grandparents and tell them about Daddy being home. I'll have to get their mobile numbers from the filofax OK?" he nodded, his mouth couldn't fit another thing in it "Parker, not too much!" I threw my hands in the air "I give up" the rest of dinner went pretty well, Booth and Parker talked about school, sports and a number of things I didn't really understand.

Parker was on the phone while I washed up, "So do you need a hand now?" I turned from the sink to see Booth standing in the doorway, he looked different. I'm not sure how, maybe it was his eyes but something had definitely changed him "I'm fine thanks" I turned back, a few moments later a hand snatched the dishcloth next to me and began drying the plates "I guess we still need that talk?" How could we not need that talk? He'd been gone 9 months "Of course we do, do you honestly think that drying plates gets you out of it? It doesn't, you've been gone 9 months and you think you can just walk back into my life and everything is gonna be the same. You're very much mistaken" the last came as a whisper as I heard little footsteps approaching "Mom, Grams wants to talk with you" he held the phone to me, grabbing the cloth from Booth I dried my hands. "Hi Sarah. How are you?" I walk down the hall and settle on the porch "Is it true?" she asks with hope "Yes, it's true, he is here now if you want a word." I don't really feel like talking about Booth, right now talking at Booth is the only thing I wanna do "I will in a minute Tempe, how are you? Did you sign those papers yet?" I shake my head knowing that she can't see me "No, I was saving that til tomorrow, but now I guess I don't have to worry about that. How was the flight?" I whispered again, hoping Parker wouldn't hear and ruin his other surprise "It's was great, a couple of little bumps but it was worth it. Does he know yet?" I chuckle "No Idea, it'll be good for him to see you ." Sarah sighs "You didn't answer my question, how are you?" it's my turn to sigh "I'm… Well, I'm OK I suppose, a bit surprised but nothing I can't handle. I'll hand you to him now" I walk back into the kitchen "Your Mom" I wave the phone at him, he looks puzzled but takes the phone "Hi Mom" he disappears down the hall.

"Mom, are you OK?" Parker sits at the breakfast bar, I smile and ruffle his hair "I'm good, it's nice to see you so happy." He looks at me "You should go easy on him, he knows he's done wrong but I know my Dad he would have done it for a reason and I think you know that too, don't you?" I sip my coffee "It doesn't mean I can't be mad at him." I check my watch "Better get you ready for bed kiddo, big day tomorrow" I smile as his face lights up "Do you want to wait so your Dad can tuck you in?" He nods and jumps down from the stool "I love you Mom" throwing his arms round my waist, again I kneel down and hold him. I start to wonder how much longer I'm gonna be able to do this for, Booth is back now and will want to live with Parker and probably get married and maybe more children and what will happen to me? Will Parker want me in his new life? I'm not sure but while he is still here he is mine and that is a great feeling. I open my eyes to see Booth, again leaning against the doorframe "I think Daddy's finished on the phone, lets get you ready for bed"

"I was sent undercover" I lifted my eyes from my book "What?" he sat next to me, he was that much too close that I wanted to move away "I was sent undercover, by the FBI. The case was very difficult, a group of for hire guns, they had been operating out of New Orleans for several years. We'd had a few undercover agents go in before but they never came out, if you get my drift" I looked at him "You took an undercover assignment where you knew there was a chance that you could die?" I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing "Yes, I did, but this time only a handful of agents knew about it. Before it had been 30 or 40 agents from Washington and New Orleans, lots of people to talk. This time it was just Cullen, Golding, Sachs and myself who knew. Cullen made me a deal if I took this assignment, I am now no longer used in any undercover assignments and the only time I have to leave Parker is if we have a case. I couldn't say no, I mean I left him but I never have to leave him again." I shook my head "He needed you, his Mother had just died and then you left, do you have any idea what that is like?" He looked at me "No, I have no idea but you do. I left him with you because I believed, I still believe you are the best person to look after him, to understand what he was going through. You've been there" I hold my hand up, I feel a lump forming in my throat "So because I lost my Mom and my Dad left me, that makes you think I can help a little boy, who every night asked me why his Dad wasn't there. You think that makes me quilified to answer his questions and there was a lot of those. On Sunday afternoon I had to explain to Parker that God didn't hate him, he asked me _"I can't decide if he hates me or not. I mean he took my Mom away from me and then my Dad too. The priest said that God has a reason for everything but what possible reason could he have to take my family if he didn't hate me?"_ Who am I to answer that when I don't even believe in God?" For the millionth time since he has been gone my cheeks are wet "Do you think it was OK for me to listen to Parker scream because he was having nightmares?" I begin to cry, he wraps his arms around me "I'm sorry, I didn't realise how hard this would have been for you" I wriggle free and stand "Sorry's not good enough, you need to do right by Parker. You don't have to apologise to me, I'm past that stage." I walked up the stairs, "Your bedroom is on the left."


	5. Chapter 5

Ok, just like to thank everyone who has been reviewing this story and everyone who added it to their favs. Ok so I don't own Bones and also I didn't write 'Love on the rocks' or 'Bottle it up' that is Sara Bareilles. This chapter has been a bit difficult for me due to the lack of sleep, gotta love the Spanish fiestas.

I woke to the smell of something good, really good. I threw the covers off and wrapped my robe round me; I stopped at Parker's room and was amazed to see him still sleeping. What time was it anyway? I made my way sluggishly downstairs and walked into the kitchen "What are you doing?" I said mid yawn, Booth stood there grinning "I made pancakes, I thought Parker might like them" I smiled back "I'm sure he'll love them. Coffee?" he nodded, as much as I didn't like to admit it, it was nice having Booth back. "Parker won't be up for a little while yet, he doesn't get up until 8 and that's with me using a crowbar to pry him up" Booth smiled again "I know, I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd make some breakfast and sit out on the porch. I didn't mean to wake you" I look at him for a while, I have missed him so much but I can't just forgive him. As much as I love Parker, this has been without a doubt the hardest thing I've ever done.

"Are you OK?" I completely forget that I'm still staring at him "Um…sorry, what was that?" I ask, admitting that I'd been lost in my thoughts "I asked if 'you are OK?' would you like some pancakes?" he held a plate to my nose; they smelt really good "I'm fine, I was just thinking that's all. I would love some pancakes" I took the plate and walked down the hallway towards the porch, as I reached the lounge I noticed that I was being followed and not by Booth "Hey, you hungry as well?" Joey looked at me, like he so very often did, as if to say 'of course I am' with that I made my way back to the kitchen.

"Something wrong?" Booth was just picking up his plate "Joey's hungry, I thought if I feed him now he won't be after Parker's breakfast." Again I walked down the hall. This time both Booth and Joey followed me "I don't know how to make this right, I've been thinking about this all night and I don't know how to fix this" Booth sighed and stuffed a pancake in his mouth "I can't just forgive you, you know that right?" he nods, his face drops and a look of despair creeps across his features "I just need time, that's all. It's been hard, really hard. Give me an exam any day. He is a good kid Booth, he needs you right now and that should be the only thing you should be thinking about, I'm not important. Parker should be your number one concern OK?" he cocked his head "But you are important too, very important and Parker told me I had to fix this" he motioned his hands between us "so if it's alright with you, I'd like to try" I nod, I've missed his honesty with me "Let's go get Parker up, shall we?" I offered my hand and he took it. Maybe I had been too hard on him, probably not but today of all days I didn't want to fight with him.

"Hey Parks, wake up Bud, come on get up" Parker groaned as Booth shook him "Stop it Dad, it's still early let me sleep!" I smiled "there are a couple of presents downstairs. I think they have your name on but I can just take them back." He threw back his covers "Can I have breakfast before I open them?" Booth nods "Pancakes OK?" Parker nodded and headed to the bathroom, by the time he'd got downstairs we had made pancakes, putting seven candles on them and Booth had thrown flour at me twice, so I waited for Parker to finish with the syrup "Um Booth, you have some flour on your face." Behind my back I had some syrup dripped on my fingers "it's just about there" I wiped my fingers across his face "Yuk, Bones that is nasty, it's all sticky. I just got you with some flour, Yuk. This means war, you know that right?" I grinned "Don't start something you can't win Booth" Parker was now, laughing so hard I am bit worried that he isn't breathing properly.

"Bren, Oh Bren can you let us in please" Angela's voice again filled the house, as she sat outside the gate "Earth to Bren or those Booths in there please I have a present for a little boy. If I have to scale the fence it'll break" I rush downstairs, now fully clothed "Sorry Ange, I was getting dressed." I pressed the buzzer "um, Sweetie where is Booth?" strange question "he is also getting dressed." I reply, knowing that I was in for a barrage of questions, of course when Booth said war he meant it. Ange and Jack had just walked through the door when Booth appeared at the top of the stairs in nothing but a towel "Tempe, where are my clothes?" I know that my face is now the color of a strawberry "Well? I kinda need them." I look at him, hoping to convey that he is in more trouble than he could ever imagine "In the wardrobe, in the room that you slept in last night!" I manage to get out "This room on the right?" Angela squealed "No the one on the left!" I was angry, not mad angry, just angry that he really wanted to stoop that low, Parker could have heard him and that would have been bad, really bad.

"So you and Booth hey?" Ange sat next to Jack at the breakfast bar "Nothing happened Ange, nothing!" she grinned "It looked like nothing!" After I explained about the war and it was just Booth's way of getting me back for wiping syrup on his face. "I'm glad that you're been more civil to him today" Ange sipped her tea "It's Parker's birthday, how can I be horrible to his Dad?" Ange looked disappointed, I know why, they want me to forgive him and I'm trying I really am but "When are you going out?" Jack bring me out of those thoughts again "Um I was thinking about half ten, will that be OK?" he grins "Plenty of time, you're gonna call us though right?" I nod "Yep, better get a move on really. You need to go so he doesn't suspect anything, here you'll need these" I hand Jack a set of keys "Don't let Angela copy them!" I add "hey, as if I would?" she grins, she's going to copy those I know she is, now I'm never gonna have any peace.

"So where are we going?" Booth shifted in the passenger seat, "It's a surprise" I say again for the fourth or fifth time "It's not my birthday, I think I should be told where we are going" he frowned "No, Parker is there and I'm not risking him hearing, it will spoil it!" he folded his arms "He isn't listening, he has he headphones in and is playing on his computer thingy, can you just tell me?" I shake my head "He is listening; those are his headphones that don't work. I've been caught with those before. Isn't that right Parker?" I looked at him in the mirror, a big grin crosses his face "Yeah, I'm listening, so will you tell us where we are going please?" I shrug "'fraid not, it's a surprise and you'll just have to wait and see." We pulled into the car park. "Why are we here?" Booth sounded disappointed "because they have bowling, quasar and lots more, so now Parker can chose what he wants to do"

"This is awesome" Booth shouted across the quasar arena, I was hoping that quasar wouldn't be on the cards but both of them wanted to play. Not that I'm not enjoying myself, I am more than I could imagine. I have already shot Booth twice and I let Parker get me once "Mom, my stomach is telling me that it's time for lunch" After Booth had shot me once we were on the hunt for food, turns out these boys were very fussy as to what they were about to eat. "Dad, are you gonna stay with us for awhile?" Parker studied his Father's expression "we have enough room for you to stay, don't we Mom?" the question had taken me by surprise, I assumed that both Booth and Parker would move out when Booth was given another FBI house "Well bud, I have to talk to my boss and see about getting our own place, but if it's OK with Bones I'd like to stay with you until then." Parker cocked his head, right there was that expression that I had never seen, it was a cross between anger and confusion "you don't want to live with Mom and me?" Oh dear, I have to say something "Parker, why don't we talk about this tomorrow?" he shot a look at me "You're gonna let him take me with him?" he shook his head. I had no answers for the little boy, how could I? I had barely spoken to Booth, not to mention the fact that I had adoption papers sitting in my kitchen because I didn't think he was coming back.

The day had not gone as planned, Parker spent the next hour sulking. Neither Booth or I spoke, I reached for my phone and dialed Jack "Hey, are you OK?" I nodded "Fine, how's things with you?" I could hear Angela in the background "We are ready when you are, I will warn you Angela was in charge of several pieces of decoration but you'll see for yourself" I chuckled, already imagining what Angela may have done to my house "OK, good to hear. See you tomorrow Hodgins" I hung up, hoping that Parker would be in a better mood when we got home, I highly doubt it though. I climbed into the car and stuck the radio on, I wasn't about to sit for an hour in silence as well. Booth just stared out of the window and Parker kept looking between us and sighing while returning to his game. We stopped at some lights, I reached over and opened the glove box and grabbed both my sunglasses and my CD that I had brought 3 months ago, it had been in and out of my CD player since then.

_**We met on a rainy evening in the summertime  
Don't think I need to tell you more  
I needed a raise I worked so hard for this love of mine  
Still I got nothing to show for it.**_

I started singing and drumming my thumbs on the steering wheel.

_**Here's a simplification of everything we're going though  
You plus me is bad news**_

By the middle of the song, I notice that both Booth and Parker are looking at me, with a mix of confusion and amusement. I carry on, it's one of those times that you just need to belt out a few songs and just be happy that you no longer have to deal with life at that point in time. Of course I know that as soon as I get out of the car I will have to deal with a very upset Parker and a somewhat angry Booth, luckily he didn't know about the adoption and I have no intention of telling him either. By the second verse of 'Bottle it up' we were home. I walked up the steps and tried to open the door "the key isn't working, we'll have to go around the back." Parker sighed; we walked round the side of the house "SURPRISE" Parker looked shocked, as did Booth. The entire backyard was full of balloons, a feat that must have taken hours. "Never, ever ask me to help out again" Cam whispered "That there is an hour of my air, largely thanks to Angela, who then found a pump. Never again" I chuckled "I was expecting something like this but no quite this magnitude. Thank you Cam, get yourself a drink, you deserve it!" she walked over to the table mumbling something.

"Sweetie, what do you think?" Ange ran to me "I think someone is in Cam's bad books, but I love it. Thank you" I wrap my arms around her "What's wrong?" I manage to compose myself "We have a problem" I told her all about Parker's questions and Booth's answers, I told her that I had told Parker that he would have to live with Booth and that he could visit on the weekend and then Booth and I got into an argument over how much ketchup Parker is allowed "All in all a very successful trip, even if I do say so myself" Angela sighed "The adoption didn't come up then?" I shook my head "No, thank God"


	6. Chapter 6

I stood watching her firstly with Cam and the with Angela, she was smiling. Not just one of those smiles that I had seen while we were partners but a smile of pure happiness, Parker was now standing next to her. Again, I hadn´t really had a chance to see them together. They looked like any Mother and child, she was ruffling his hair while talking with Ange and he was just standing there with a silly smile. I had been so captivated with them both I hadn´t noticed Hodgins standing next to me "They've really bonded, haven´t they?" I nod "Yeah, I must admit I thought about how they would be when I got back. This was a lot more than I could have hoped for." Hodgins held his beer to his mouth "She is different now, you know that right?" I wasn't really sure what he meant, I mean I knew she had changed but I think Hodgins was suggesting more "Um, what do you mean?" Hodgins grinned "Ange and I had always discussed what would Bren do if you left, you know one of hypothetical questions and Ange thought she would just clam up, you know the way she was. I, personally, didn't want to think about the situation I knew that it wouldn't be a good thing. What happened totally blew us all away. Instead of pushing us away, she wanted us there, she asked for help with Parker. I'd never seen Dr. B cry before, even in that car she was completely together, but these past months, I don't think there has been a week where she hasn't cried." I felt sick, my face had obviously sunk "Hey man, it wasn't always a bad thing. Just be prepared." with that he walked over to Bones and hugged her.

Max walked through the back gate took a look around and marched straight over to his Daughter, he placed both hands over her eyes, she turned and smiled that smile again. They hugged, not the kind of hug that she and Hodgins had just shared, this hug was the kind that only Father and Daughter can share, I had seen it over the years with my Dad and my Sister. They spoke briefly before Parker had seen him "Max, Max quick come and see what Joey can do" Parker grabbed his hand and dragged him to where Joey was sitting, of course I glanced over before returning my eyes firmly on Bones. It was hard not to look at her, "Booth? Booth are you there?" I snapped out of my daze, Max was now standing next to me "Hey Max" I shook his hand "I should put you on the floor after what you did to her! But I trust it won't happen again?" I smiled "I'm here to stay, I had my reasons Max and I will make it up to them both, I promise." He smiled "I know you will, thats why I've always liked you. Now about Tempie, I'd like to know what your intentions are" The question stunned me into silence "Um...Well, I hadn't really. Can I get back to you on that?" Max laughed "Of course, just playing with you. I already know what your intentions are, even if you don't. One more thing can you make sure that she is eating properly, she has lost some more weight" I nod, he walks over to Bones again, who is now laughing about something.

"Booth, could you try and get Parker into the kitchen please?" I cock my head "Why? I can though" she smiles again "His surprise is in there" I smile back "Sure, consider it done" I walk over to Parker "Hey Bud, I'm sorry about this afternoon. How do you fancy grabbing some food before everyone else?" he grinned "Dad, that's naughty, Mom won't be impressed but it sounds like fun.To the kitchen" We crept into the kitchen and walked over to the neatly wrapped food parcels that smelt so good "what should we try first?" Parker stood in front of some chocolate fairy cakes "These ones Dad" just as I was carefully undoing the parcel a voice came from behind me "BUSTED, Seeley Booth what do you think you are doing?" My Mom stood in the doorway, Dad, Carol and Jack are also standing there "Grams, Gramps!" Parker could hardly contain his excitement as he ran over and hugged them all "Happy Birthday Parker"

It was now about 7, I hadn't seen Parker for about 10 minutes, Bones was sitting with my Mom, they were have a discussion "I expect you to be there Temperance, I won't have it any other way" I approached slowly "I'd love to Sarah, but I'm really not sure about Christmas, I'm pretty sure that I'll be on a dig somewhere." Mom shook her head "Parker won't let you go away for Christmas, so you might as well forget that one right now" I casually walk up to them "Ladies, have you seen Parker?" Bones looked down "he is here, he fell asleep about 10 minutes ago" Parker's head was resting on her lap, her fingers were curled around a few locks of his hair, it was a truly beautiful sight, by 9 everyone had left, I had taken Parker to bed. I was now sitting in the kitchen staring at a letter that I shouldn't have read at the bottom there was a blank signature line. Temperance walked into the kitchen "That went well, don't you think?" I looked at her, she had her back to me. I stood and walked over to her, place one hand either side of her, she turned round unsure of what I was doing "Booth? Are you OK?" she asked "You didn't sign it" I held up the letter, her face dropped "Why didn't you sign it?" At first when I read the letter and all the bits of paperwork I was shocked and even a little hurt, this was my son after all but then I realized that she was prepared to do this for him "Are you going to speak at all?"

_Bones POV _

It was a little after 9 when everyone had left, Booth had taken Parker to bed while I had a shower. The party had been great, much better than I had expected, Parker had cheered up and even Booth and I had a chance to make peace, I wandered down the stairs and into the kitchen, Booth was sitting at the breakfast bar "That went well, don't you think?" I walked over to the coffee machine and switched it on, it was only a split second later when I saw Booth's hands either side of me. I turn, what the hell is he doing? I'm pretty trapped, "Booth? Are you OK?" the lump in my throat is now getting bigger "You didn't sign it?" Oh no, in his hand was the adoption letter. I breathe heavily, but no words want to come out I really need to make a word "Are you going to speak at all?" I look at him, I try to form some words in my brain "It's dated 3 months ago, would you mind maybe talking to me about this?" he looks angry, probably at my complete lack of communication "Um.. Well..I..Um" that's a great start, maybe I can build on simple words "I, we had a meeting, 3 months ago, Carol, Jack and your parents they had got Caroline's number and asked her to draw up the paper work. I got there and they gave me the envelop 'All you have to do is sign it' I couldn't sign it" OK, well I managed to get that bit out "Why didn't you sign it?" He had moved closer, if that was possible "I couldn't, I told them that I couldn't sign it because of you. I just thought they had given up on you, I couldn't I really needed you to come home. I gave the papers back to Caroline." Please don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. Breathe in, breathe out. Good Tempe I can do this "But they are here?" I nod "Yeah, Parker over heard Ange and I talking about it, he asked why I hadn't adopted him and I told him the same thing but he told me 'he isn't ever coming back. I think we should just accept it' I stayed awake the whole night thinking about that, he used to ask every night when you'd be home, he never asked after that day and I guess I thought about it and I was gonna give them to him today" I looked at his face, I couldn't make out what was going on.

Thanks for all the reviews, they have been great! I hope you like it. I'll be updating on Friday hopefully.


	7. Chapter 7

"Will you just go home and get some rest?" Angela walked into my office "Ange, I'm fine. I just want to close this case. I'm good honestly" If I was being honest with myself that wasn't true, it had been a week since Booth had cornered me in the kitchen, since then I had spent most days at the lab, I haven't been functioning right today. I have that `I've forgotten something´ feeling and I can't shift it. I just can't put my finger on it.

Angela had left the office, it was unlike her to give up so easily but I was thankful. The phone dragged me out of my thoughts "Brennan" it was Agent Madelson "We have a suspect in custody, I think it's over!" the relief in his voice was evident, it had been a long case "Oh, that is great news, who is the suspect?" Madelson sighed "Tommy Callahan, he was a choirboy at the church about 10 years ago. We are questioning him now, I'll call with an update later" I put the phone down and lent back on my chair, I closed my eyes for a brief second before they flung open, I just remembered what had given me that feeling all day.

I gathered my stuff together and threw it all in my bag, just as I reached the door I saw Ange and Cam walking towards me "Are you finally going home? I got Cam to come and talk to you" I nodded "Yes, Madelson just called, they have a suspect. Is it OK if I go?" I turn to Cam, she nods and I head out the door.

As I turned my key there was a loud roar from the living room, next to the stairs is a massively over sized duffel bag, that is what I forgot. I walk into the kitchen and make myself a coffee, more loud roars come from the living room. I stand in the doorway watching them, they are playing some game on Parker's Playstation.

"Hey, that was legal! No way, unfair!" Booth sat on the sofa with a big grin across his face "Madden says Illegal! 10 yard penalty and that will do nicely!" Parker was sitting on the chair watching "It's been a year and you don't even say hello?" I asked as walked into the room "Oh my God, Tempe look at you! Wow, you haven't been eating properly have you?" Tommy paused the game and hugged me "You got taller! How was school?" He smiled "You shouldn't ignore questions it's rude, school was OK. I guess you already know that though and I decided on Georgetown."

I wasn't really surprised with this little announcement, I had taken Tommy to various universities over last year but he had always like Georgetown. I think it was just because it would be cheaper but he won't have it "Haven't we spoke about Georgetown? If you are sure that's where you want to go thats fine. Does this mean you're home for good?" I didn't want to fight with him over this again "Um.. Well, Yes I suppose I am, do you have enough room?" I nod "Your room is third door on the left. It's nice to have you home."

I left them to play, I still had some papers to read through and sign. I was halfway through when I felt someone watching me, I turned to see Booth leaning on the door frame "So you have another Brother? You never mentioned that before." I smiled "My foster Brother, we were paired together in a couple of homes. I look out for him, always have." Booth sat next to me "I know he told me, you asked your Grandparents to take him as well. He is a great kid, a sore loser but a great kid. Why didn't you ever say anything about him?" I looked at him.

"I moved away when I was 17, every break I would go home to see Tommy and we would spend every minute we possibly could together, no one else just us and I suppose it just kinda stayed that way. It took six months for my Grandparents to get custody of him, I worked during the weekends so I could put money towards his keep, of course they wouldn't accept it so I used to stick it in their pockets, wallets, purses whenever I could." Booth looked at me.

"You never cease to amazing me Temperance, never. If we are ..." I held up my hand "It's fine Booth, Tom seems to like you. I said you could stay as long as you want and I meant it." I smiled "I have to finish this, do you wanna see what the boys would like for dinner?" He nodded, a few minutes later and I was no longer alone "Do you know how much I love you?" I turned to see Tommy with his new Ipod that I had brought when his school had phoned with his grades. Tommy was not the most academically minded student but when I was told that he managed an A in his finals I was shocked. "I thought you deserved something for working so hard, I'm very proud of you."

After a lot of discussion on the boys part, they finally settled on Pizza "Mom, we are ready to go." Parker grabbed my hand and practically pulled me out of house, Booth had made himself comfortable in the driver's seat "Come on Bones, three starving men are waiting! Let's go"

**Short chapter I'm afraid, got some ideas for the rest just got to iron them out. Thanks for all the reviews you guys are great! So I didn't manage to update on Friday – a lot going on **


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